Food giant Hormel has announced it's local Glendale plant will begin manufacture of a new line of snack foods targeted at the hungry retard.  This is exciting news for local Glendale job-hunters in light of recent statistics indicating that the Glendale unemployment rate has soared to an all-time high.  On Monday the plant will begin the hiring process in search of over 75 new employees to help meet ramped-up production demands.  Hormel representative Anne Focher expressed her excitement during the announcement, and was confident that the product line's sure-fire success would translate into rock-solid job-security for the new employees.  "We are proud of our new product line, and if the tests were any indication, we're sure it's going to be a big hit with retards everywhere."  The company is banking on the success of the new products to inject it with revenue after the release and catastrophic failure of it's disastrous "Terence Stamp Healthy Choices Low-Fat English Classics," line, which included toasted, battered pies and jellied Horseblood in lemon syrup.  Hormel was quick to insure investors that the new Retard foods would not go the way of the Stamp line, which, according to industry analysts, failed due to both "poor branding recognition" and "horrible flavor."  As a result of the Stamp fiasco, Hormel increased it's commitment of R&D resources to pre-release testing of new dishes.   While industry skeptics abound, all seem to agree that the hungry retard market is a vast, largely untapped plain with huge profit potential.  The problem seems to be in pinning down the wide and eclectic tastes of the mentally handicapped palate.  Whilst one cretin might favor  melted caramel  ice-cream and cone mush with sprinkles, another might prefer slug with dirt sauce.   However, even months before consumer release, Hormel reps have commenced a massive  sales push, getting an early start and vying aggressively in the relentless battle for valuable shelf space in major supermarket chains.  Pre-sale order forms read like propaganda booklets, with statistics to back up the claims.  "Our samples have shown increased drool production in over 8 out of 10 testers." declared Hormel sales executive Barry Myer.  In order to ensure a steady output to market-demand ratio, Hormel will begin manufacture of it's two initial 'flagship' products: Booger-flavored Assorted-Meat-Food Nuggets  and Glue-flavored Gummy "Treatsies."   The line will see subsequent expansion of flavor choices after it solidifies it's 'toehold' share in the niche market and a loyal consumer base.  Marketing director Conan Van den Hogue  was adamant that the combination of a promising early forecast and ultra-visible product placement would translate into good things down the road for both Hormel and the city of Glendale.  "We are on top of this drive with a vengeance.  We're turning big, crooked, retard-heads all over the place - and we're not finished.  We've got big plans here at Hormel. Big, retard plans."   Products pending release  and FDA approval are Poo-scented Face-Smearers and Salty Goo Chin Dribble paste.