"Misanthropy: Christmas Walk" INT. ERIC'S APARTMENT-NIGHT Eric, James, and Dan sit on the couch, staring at the TV set. The WMAQ news is on. ANCHORMAN (off) Well, the snow is falling now, isn't it Terry. TERRY THE WEATHER GUY (off) Yes, it certainly is, the storm started about an hour ago- James interrupts, the TV becomes obscured JAMES Stupid fucking snow. ERIC What's wrong with snow? JAMES It's cold, and it's wet, and it makes it a bitch to drive. ERIC Where are you planning on driving to? JAMES Home. ERIC I like it. JAMES How? ERIC Well, I don't like love it, ya' know. It's just a nice change of pace. It's reminds me of Christmas. JAMES Christmas is like two months away. DAN No it's not. JAMES Bullshit it's not. DAN No, it's not. Thanksgiving was already like a week ago. JAMES Hmm…yeah I guess you're right. ERIC They don't show Christmas cartoons on TV any more to let you know the season is near. They only show It's a Wonderful Life once. JAMES They show Peanuts. ERIC I never liked that one. JAMES How could you not like that one? ERIC I just didn't. It's good, but I just don't like it. It's not the same without the Dolly Madison commercials. JAMES It's only like ten minutes long without the Dolly Madison commercials. BRIEF PAUSE ERIC Remember the Margot Kidder version of It's a Wonderful Life? JAMES Eww…or Holiday Inn. ERIC I told you not to mention that film in this house. PAUSE ERIC So, it's like December already? DAN Yeah. ERIC So, what's today's date? DAN Friday. ERIC I know that, you fucking moron. Friday the what…third, fourth… DAN I don't know. ERIC Think. JAMES Well, thanksgiving was like last Thursday, that's eight days ago. What day is thanksgiving on? ERIC I think it changes, like Easter. DAN No, it's the twenty-fifth, like Christmas. James gets up and walks over to the bar by the hall way door. ERIC Are you sure? DAN Not one hundred percent sure. ERIC How many percent? DAN I can't give you a fucking number. ERIC Take the level of your certainty, and assign it a number from one to one hundred. DAN Why do you even care what day it is? ERIC Give me a number. DAN Seventy. JAMES (off) Wait, I know. ERIC What day is it? CAMERA-PAN TOWARD BAR James is holding a coke. JAMES I don't know what day it is, I know why you want to know what day it is. ERIC (off) Why? JAMES 'Cus you want to go to the Christmas walk. ERIC I do not. James starts to walk back to the couch. STEDI-CAM ON JAMES JAMES (walking) Bullshit you don't. James reaches the couch. DAN The Christmas Walk down by the railroad tracks? JAMES Yes. ERIC Why do you assume this? JAMES Why else would you want to know what day it is? You never care what day it is until school's almost out. ERIC I'm just curious as to how close we are to Christmas. JAMES No you're not. ERIC Am too. Go look for a calendar or something. JAMES Go to hell. ERIC Dan? DAN "Dan" what? ERIC Find a calendar. DAN I don't want to know what day it is and I don't want to go to the Christmas walk--. ERIC --Shut the fuck up, Dan. James, ya' know, it's real easy for you to just sit there and drink my soda and watch my WMAQ news on my couch and…and…umm JAMES You mumbling fucking idiot. Eric picks up the remote and starts to turn the channels. JAMES What are you doing? ERIC I'm looking for the weather channel, they say what date it is. DAN It can't be too late in December, the Salvation Army would be outside. ERIC (flipping the channels) Shut the fuck up, Dan. JAMES You're pathetic, the Christmas Walk is lame, anyway. Eric doesn't look at James, he just raises his finger in a "shushing" motion. ERIC Okay, where's the date? DAN This is the travel report, they don't show the date until the local forecast. For that you're gonna have to go through international report and the local satellite. You'll have to wait 'til six twenty-two for the date. Eric gives Dan a dirty look. DAN What? ERIC The Weather Channel? JAMES Look who's holding himself far above someone elses quirks, Mr. Christmas walk. ERIC What is wrong with the Christmas walk? JAMES One, it's lame. Two, it's cold. Three, the past two years we've had a something very unfortunate happen to us after you've dragged us there! ERIC We'll just stay away from the railroad tracks. EXT. THE CHRISTMAS WALK (TWO YEARS AGO)-NIGHT A Christmas walk a an attempt of a group of business is a fledgling district to generate business by putting up Christmas displays in every store window, offering free hot cider, and providing a brass band to play Christmas carols. People are walking, holding cups of hot cider. Brass carols fill the air, people are dressed up as elves, the whole schpeil. The ground is slushy, depressingly slushy. Eric, James, Dan, and Kurt are standing by a railroad crossing, blowing into their hands. WHITE TITLE CARD: "TWO YEARS AGO" Eric flips a quarter at James ERIC Go sit that on the tracks. JAMES Okay. James walks over to the tracks and sits the quarter down. A train starts to whistle, the lights and bells start to flash and ring. The boys clear way of the crossing. A man in a Santa Claus suit walks onto the tracks, ducking past the crossing gates. The man stops and picks up the quarter. He looks at it for a while. CU- MAN The man is visibly upset, he holds the quarter above his head and screams: MAN Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! The man lays down on the tracks. CAMERA PAN TOWARD THE BOYS The stand staring at the tracks. The train races by off screen. CAMERA- OTHER SIDE OF TRACKS A red Santa suit hangs over the edge of the tracks, people stand staring. Between train carts, you can see the boys from the other side. The train continues for several seconds before stopping. A mangled, bloody santa suit lies there. A child starts to scream and cry. INT. ERIC'S LIVING ROOM-NIGHT ERIC Why the hell can't you do one thing for me without bitching? JAMES We've done it two years in a row for you, and both times we got fucked by it. CU- TV SCREEN The weather channel is showing the local forecast. The date is December 2. JAMES (off) What day is the walk? ERIC Today. DAN I get ridiculed for knowing the weather channel schedule and you have the day of the Christmas walk memorized. ERIC So, what. You remember a date when something happens on it two years in a row. JAMES Is that why you want to go, you're just itching to kill again? EXT. CHRISTMAS WALK (ONE YEAR AGO)-NIGHT Same basic deal, only one year later. TITLE CARD-ONE YEAR AGO Eric, James, and Dan stand by the now fenced off tracks. ERIC Ya' know, I always thought seeing a man getting crushed by a train would be cool. It was really kind of damaging. DAN It's all I could see for, like, three weeks after it happened whenever I closed my eyes. JAMES Why the hell did you want to come back here? ERIC It's Christmas. JAMES What the hell does that mean? ERIC I like Christmas. JAMES No you don't. PAUSE Eric flips a quarter a James. ERIC Go put that on the tracks. JAMES I don't think they're letting anyone near the tracks. ERIC Just pretend like your walking past and set it down. JAMES Alright. James walks over to the tracks and sits the quarter down. The lights start to flash and the bells start to ring once again, James runs back over to Eric and Dan. The train drives over the quarter, cart after cart bounces just a little as its wheel touches the quarter. A drunken man in a Santa Claus suit stumbles toward the crossing, he stops a few feet from the train. The final cart hits the quarter and tips over, crushing the man. A child starts to scream and cry. INT. ERIC'S APARMENT-NIGHT ERIC Don't you blame that shit on me, not for a second. JAMES Two years in a row you make me put a quarter on the rail road tracks and two years in a row that quarter costs man in a Santa Claus suit his life and you don't take any blame for it? ERIC Make you put a quarter on the tracks? I asked you to put a quarter on the tracks. JAMES No, it's more than that. That's what I thought the first year, but it's got to be more than that. You're some sort of devil or something, and it's your mission to hypnotize me into killing some poor bastard every year. That's the only reason I can possibly think of that you want to go freeze your ass off at some shitty Christmas walk every year. ERIC Okay, the first year that man was drunk and was gonna kill himself the second he walked past the guard-rails no matter if there was a quarter on there or not. The second time was a freak accident. Even the news said so, you put the quarter on the tracks in exactly the right spot. One tenth of on tenth of a millimeter off and that wouldn't have happened. JAMES No, you're a fucking devil. ERIC There's only one devil. JAMES And it's you. ERIC You know, the sad part is that I actually think you believe that. JAMES I do actually believe it. ERIC Well, if I am a demon or devil or whatever, I am not aware of it; at least not consciously. So whatever it is inside of me that draws me to the walk every year must also directly involve you since you're the person I always flip a quarter at and you always put it there without saying shit. JAMES Well, than I'm not gonna abide by the little goblin inside of me's will. Not this year. I'm just not going. ERIC What the hell else are you gonna do? What are you doing right now? JAMES Nothing, at the moment. But I have plans to do something with other people. Other, sane, mortal, non-evil people. ERIC I am not evil. JAMES I am not going. I don't want to. I never wanted to. And I really fucking don't want to after the past two years. DAN Yeah, and you said we were gonna go over to Sans, the Puffy-Haired Boy's house and get drunk. ERIC I am certainly not getting drunk on the night of the Christmas walk. That's just wrong. DAN You can't cancel on Sans, the Puffy-Haired Boy. ERIC I'll say my grandma died or something, he won't care. DAN He gets real pissed real easy. ERIC There has to be some circumstances. He won't care if we just don't come because my grandma died. DAN What's my excuse? ERIC Think of your own. DAN It's your fault I'm not going, you're coming up with an excuse for me. ERIC We'll say your grandma died and I really liked her, okay? JAMES What, so you're going with him? DAN I don't think it sounds that bad. JAMES "Doesn't' sound that bad?" Are you serious? It's jus looking at stupid Christmas displays in store windows. DAN I like the hot apple cider. JAMES That apple cider is pretty good… ERIC It is, isn't it. JAMES Don't even try it. ERIC What?!? Don't you remember when we were kids and we'd go the Christmas walk? Remember how excited we'd get? JAMES They just started having that thing like three years ago. ERIC We were younger then. JAMES I was never excited about the Christmas walk. ERIC Yes you were. Remember that one time we went there; me, you, and Kurt, and that was like when I first starting seeing Sarah. And Sarah brought her cousin along who you thought was hot and I told you Sarah told me she liked you. EXT CHRISTMAS WALK (THREE YEARS AGO) Eric, James, Kurt, and Sarah stand at an entirely different part of the Christmas walk, right next to the brass band. KURT (to Sarah) I know, the phone company always plays porno music when you're on hold. No other company does that. The cable company and water company both use easy listening, and if you call some consumer service line they always just play you messages about the product you just bought. ERIC (to Sarah) Yeah, I really hate getting advertisements for something I've already bought, like in the package. And it's the worst when you're calling the company about it, 'cus you only call the company when you've got a problem with the thing you just bought. You plugged it in and it caught fire and here they are telling you how damned wonderful it is. SARAH I hate that. I just hate calling places. I really hate when they like, they put you on hold and you've been on hold for like, a really long time, and then all of a sudden like you hear a voice, and you get all happy for like a second, and then you realize it's just a recording telling you to stay on the line. ERIC & KURT (in a porno director voice/at the same time, like they've said it 100 times before) 'Thank you for calling the phone company, please stay on the line.' Sarah giggles. JAMES (to Sarah) When's your cousin coming? SARAH I don't know what could be taking her…I told her to meet us at the end of the walk by the band. JAMES Hmm. ERIC She'll be here. JAMES She better be. I don't know why the fuck you guys wanted to come here. SARAH Get into the spirit of things. Jenna hates Scrooges. JAMES Ebenezers. SARAH What? JAMES "Scrooge" means "greedy." Because of Scrooge Mc'Duck and stuff. Scrooge Mc'Duck was greedy but he loved Christmas. "Ebenezer" refers to the guy from that book. He hated Christmas. SARAH Don't be an Ebenezer then, she doesn't like them. JAMES Is Jenna your cousin from your dad's side? SARAH (stumbling) Uhh…yeah? JAMES Isn't your dad Jewish? SARAH Why do you assume my dad's Jewish? JAMES He's always wearing that little beanie thing. INT. ERIC'S APARTMENT COMPLEX STAIRWAY-NIGHT Eric, James, and Dan, in coats and hats, are walking down the stairs to get outside. They talk as they walk: JAMES We waited there for like a half hour before you told me that Jenna didn't even exist. ERIC That's the only way we could of got you to come. JAMES You went through such great lengths, too. You came up with that wallet size picture, you had her friend from Iowa talk to me on the phone pretending she was her. ERIC I really wanted to go. JAMES We didn't even walk down to the other end, though. We just stood in that spot. The boys reach the bottom of the stairs.. EXT. ERIC'S APARTMENT BUILDING-NIGHT It's slushy and cold outside. You can see the boys' breath, in the off-light city air. A Chicago December is hard to describe. The boys are walking to Eric's car parked in out front. JAMES (walking) This is the weirdest quirk of yours, you know that. The whole Christmas walk thing. They reach the car, Eric gets in the drivers seat and manually unlocks the other doors. Dan gets in the back seat, James just stares into the window at Eric. JAMES I don't think I should come with. ERIC (obsc. by car) What? INT. ERIC'S CAR-NIGHT ERIC'S POV Eric is looking through the wet window at James. James says something, but he is greatly muffled by the window. Eric's hand reaches out and rolls down the window. ERIC (off) What? JAMES I don't feel so good about going with. ERIC (off) Why the hell not? JAMES I just don't. ERIC (off) You have to. JAMES No, that's the thing. I don't have to. And I don't want to. Why should I? DAN (off) 'Cus I'm being made to suffer so you should, too. ERIC (off) You remember that one time we all took a tour of Celeste's dad's factory for you? INT. CELESTE'S DAD'S FACTORY-DAY All wearing hard hats, Eric, James, Dan, Kurt, and Celeste are in a group of others touring some plastics plant. Celeste's dad is the tour guide. CELESTE'S DAD --And who here can tell me what we use HTX/32W hinges for? Eric pipes up from the crowd ERIC Dildos. Everybody gives Eric a disgusted look, save for James who looks very pissed and Dan who is laughing his ass off. INT. ERIC'S CAR-NIGHT JAMES That was different. ERIC (off) How? JAMES No one died. Eric opens the door to get out and talk to James. EXT. ERIC'S STREET-NIGHT ERIC (softly) No one is going to die. JAMES So what if they don't. ERIC You still owe me for going to the factory, like Dan brought up. Remember what you said. You said "If you do this, I'll owe you." And it's been like two months, and now I'm finally calling you on it. James kind of squirms. He's uncomfortable. JAMES I don't… ERIC You are coming to the Christmas walk. If you want to, afterwards, you can go do whatever else it was you were going to do. But now, I am calling on you for something I am owed. You have a responsibility to come with. JAMES I really don't want to. ERIC (softly, really trying to get James to come) The past three years sucked there. So what? Big deal? The Christmas walk is something memories are made of. If you just go over to someone's house or something tonight and ditch me and Dan you won't remember this night two months from now. But too much memorable shit has already happened at the Christmas walk for you to forget tonight if you went there. By coming with us you invest in your future. JAMES Have you been reading the Dianetics book again? ERIC No, I fucking haven't, man. JAMES I really don't feel up to this. Eric runs back over to the other side of the car. ERIC (running) Yes you do. CAMERA STAY STEDI ON JAMES James looks at the door for a while, and then gets in. The car pulls off. INT. ERIC'S CAR-NIGHT The boys sit silently, staring ahead. Eric tries to lighten things up: ERIC You know what I've been seeing a lot of lately? JAMES (humouring Eric) What? ERIC Utah license plates. JAMES (not caring) Really? ERIC Yeah, they're butt-ugly so they're real easy to pick out. I must have seen twenty of 'em this school week. DAN The student council had some weird exchange thing we're some students from some other state came to our school for a week, remember? ERIC Yeah, I doubt they're from Utah. I also doubt they'd bring there own cars. They probably flew here. JAMES You probably just saw the same car twenty times. You saw the plate once, made a note of it in your head, and now you're more prone to notice it whenever you're on the road. ERIC Hmm…you're probably right. PAUSE JAMES You're driving like you're possessed. ERIC Am not. JAMES You are to. ERIC Am not. JAMES Are to. You look like you've been practicing this drive. ERIC I drive this way all the time. I have the route memorized. JAMES You never drive down to the Railroad district. ERIC Where the hell have you been? I am a frequent shopper in the Randt district. JAMES What's the "Randt district"? ERIC The stores that host the Christmas walk. They're no longer the "Railroad District" because the Randt company bought them all out. DAN Yeah, don't you remember those public access commercials about the new Randt District. ERIC (singing a crappy local jingle) Come shop the Rannndt District, Rannndt District. You'll love the Rannndt District, Rannndt District. The greatest new stores, come shop and explore, spend a day- Dan joins in: ERIC AND DAN -you'll see. The Randt District is where you want to be! ERIC And then the Randt guy would come out and talk about how wonderful he was for buying out all those small businesses and making them new and evil. And then they'd play the song again. JAMES When exactly did they do this? ERIC Not even a year ago. JAMES I just completely missed out, I guess. ERIC Boy did you! JAMES How often do you shop there? ERIC I get my hair cut there. JAMES So, like once every six weeks? ERIC Just about. JAMES You don't memorize a route when you only travel it once every six weeks. ERIC I do. JAMES Maybe. PAUSE ERIC This will do you some good, get you into the Christmas spirit. JAMES Nothing spells 'holidays' like seeing a man in a Santa suit meet his bloody demise. ERIC That's exactly the kind of attitude I'm setting out to rid you of. DAN You guys remember Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol? ERIC Yeah, actually. I liked that one. DAN It was a hell of a lot better than the Mickey Mouse one. ERIC It was all depressing. JAMES Isn't Mr. Magoo that shitty Leslie Neilson movie? ERIC It was a Paramount cartoon before that. And the cartoon pretty much sucked, only one time they did a really cool version of Charles Dickins' A Christmas Carol. It was all, like serious, and stuff. It was good. JAMES I don't like Dickins. ERIC Have you ever actually read one of his books? JAMES Yeah. ERIC Which one? JAMES Tale of Two Cities. ERIC No you didn't. EXT. CAR ON ROAD-NIGHT AIRIEL SHOT Eric's car is driving down the road… JAMES (VO) Well, I saw the movie Oliver! and it was really crappy and gay. …and out of frame CUT TO BLACK FADE IN EXT. CHRISTMAS WALK-NIGHT Eric, James, and Dan are at the same part of the Christmas walk that we saw from three years ago. The walk is the same, but different. A little "Randt co." sign in every Christmas display, and a touch of evil in the air. The boys walk slowly up the street. Dan being the only one who even bothers to look at the window displays. An old fat man in a suit walks slowly behind them ERIC Are you already glad you came? DAN This isn't that bad. It's a lot warmer than it was last year. JAMES Damn! There's a hell of a lot more people here than there were the past few years. The fat man behind them pipes up. JOE RANDT That's because the Randt Corporation has done wonderful things for this business district over the past year. The boys all stop and turn around. Mr. Randt smiles and hands the boys some pamphlets. JOE RANDT Sorry If I overheard your conversation, boys…I'm Joe Randt. Joe reaches out to shake Dan's hand. Dan shakes it. ERIC Are you the guy who bought out all these stores? JOE RANDT "Bought out" is not the term we at the Randt Corporation like to use. We prefer to think that we brought a new light to this business district. DAN I like your commercial. JOE RANDT Do you? Well, you can tell all you're friends back at school you met yourself a real life celebrity. DAN (sarcastically) Can do. JOE RANDT How old are you boys? ERIC Seventeen. JOE RANDT Well boys, I'm running for the senate this November, and I realize that's almost a whole year off, but I'd like you to take a look at those pamphlets I gave ya'. ERIC (sarcastically) Okay. Joe Randt walks away, off to bother some one else. The boys start walking again. DAN (sarcastically) He touched me! He touched me! JAMES A real live celebrity. ERIC Fucking, evil asshole. Did you look into his eyes? He hated us. He despised us. Read the second flap of the pamphlet, we're what he hates. But still he shakes our hand and tells us to vote for his fat ass. That's pure evil. JAMES Ya' know, usually you would have said that straight to his face. ERIC I'm not here to battle evil, not today. And he was far too strong for my meager powers. JAMES Keep training. ERIC I was really afraid of that guy. Like, genuinely afraid. DAN Hey, at least you didn't have to grab his sweaty, doughy hand. ERIC I could hear it squish when you touched it. PAUSE JAMES "Squish" is my favourite oenomonpedia ERIC I've always been partial to "Buzz." The boys walk silently. James stops short… JAMES (whispering, to Eric) Eric, bend down and tie your shoe. Tie your shoe, tie your shoe! Eric just stares at James Sarah walks into frame, with Mike Dodge. SARAH Hi James, Dan. She and Mike walk by, out of frame. Eric turns as yells off screen. ERIC (yelling) What, I don't get a "hello" because you fucked me? Sarah runs back into frame. SARAH (very pissed) I didn't say hello to you because I just didn't feel like saying hello to you. ERIC And why is that? SARAH Because I…Jesus Christ. Look, I don't want to fucking talk to you, Eric. Sarah walks off. ERIC (yelling) Why not? Eric just watches her leave. They start to walk again. JAMES I really should try to console you right now, but since the wounds of the Christmas walk three years are bleeding again I think I'll just tell you that you totally deserve that. ERIC I'm not saying I don't. There is no need to console me, except for my guilt. And when someone consoles you about guilt it makes you feel even more guilty. JAMES I think she still likes you. ERIC I know she does. JAMES You are a fucking asshole, you know that. ERIC Yeah, keep rubbing it in. DAN What in the fuck is she doing with Mike Dodge? ERIC I don't want to have to think about. JAMES They're just friends. ERIC How do you know? JAMES I've heard. She's all anti-man since you bailed on her. ERIC Hmm…that actually makes me feel very good. JAMES You are evil. The boys stop walking once again. This time as a midget in full costume as an elf runs past. The midget is followed soon after by a short, rat-like man wielding a crow-bar. RAT MAN I'm gonna fucking kill you. Get your stupid little ass back here! ERIC (singing) Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance We'll they're no friends of mine. James starts laughing like an idiot. They start to walk again DAN Was that a midget or a dwarf? ERIC I couldn't tell. JAMES Yeah, I started thinking about that whole midget/dwarf thing the other day. Where do munchkins fall into place? ERIC They're just painted midgets. JAMES Ohh. They continue to walk. ERIC (walking) I wonder if the orchestra is still gonna be in that one window. JAMES Why the hell do you care about the school orchestra? ERIC I don't. They keep walking… …and walking… …and walking. DAN You guys every actually sit down and try watching women's shit? ERIC Like what, Oprah? DAN Yeah, her and like everything else. Lifetime, and Soap Operas and stuff. ERIC I've seen them. I've never like actually sat down and watched them. DAN They, are like, just as bad as us. ERIC Women? DAN Yeah? ERIC How so? DAN They, just, they hold themselves so far above us. Ya' know. They do nothing but talk about how evil we are and how much smarter they are and stuff. ERIC Yeah, I'm aware of that. DAN But, they're just as bad, is the thing. I mean, like, they get all pissed off just because we'd sleep with a chick because she was hot. Like that's evil, we shouldn't just look at the surface or something. But, then they go right around and drool over Lantino pop singers. And how many chicks do you know who've fucked a guy just because he had a nice car? Now that's shallow. JAMES I know it. At least we don't hold ourselves on some imaginary pedestal. ERIC They were treated like shit for a few hundred years, and now they're empowered, ya' know rightfully empowered, not saying anything against that. They deserve it, and they still don't get it…but they feel the need to take out several centuries worth of pent-up aggression on the former captors. But it's not like we did anything, ya' know? I mean, I'm a white male, if I have to go around paying dues to of all the people my ancestors fucked over then just shoot me now because I can't fucking win. DAN Yeah, that's kind of it. I mean, we're not the one's who didn't let them vote and shit, you're right. But I'm saying they still call us pigs and stuff, and they're just as big of pigs. Only in different ways. JAMES I think a lot of them are still like, raised in environments where the women are still second-class, though. It's surprisingly common, even today. When the finally get out of there oppressive homes and shit, if they get out, they realize that they've been missing out on there fair share all there lives and this pisses them off. Empowerment's a big issue we've never had to deal with. They keep walking. ERIC That was just about the most inteligible conversation we've ever had. JAMES I was waiting for you to change the pace in there. ERIC I had something I kind of wanted to say about Romantic guys when Dan started up, but the conversation went a whole different way. DAN Yeah, that was a pretty fucked up exchange of words that just happened there. ERIC It was bound to happen sometime. They keep walking… …and walking. JAMES What was that you were gonna say about the romantic guys? ERIC Well, I don't really see why they're so far ahead of me. They're not any better or wore. The only reason romantic guys are romantic, the only reason they spend money on flowers and limmos and they make the girl feel all special and shit is that they want to get laid. Romantic guys are just like me, only they try harder. That Don Juan guy? He's had more chicks than he can count, but I don't see any woman calling him a pig. JAMES That's more like it. ERIC Thank you. PAUSE ERIC I didn't think that they could commercialize something as commercial as the Christmas walk, but they did. JAMES What, does that ruin something for you? ERIC Guess not. It's just I keep thinking about that creepy Randt guy. JAMES It would really suck if he got elected. ERIC We gotta make sure not to vote for him. JAMES Repulicans are just Nazi's without the genocide. ERIC Only in some respects. DAN Who comes up with all these "o-cides?" I mean, where the fuck did they get "regicide?" ERIC Well, "Homo-sapien"/"homo-cide." Genocide is like, genes, maybe, 'cus you kill so many people. Regicide, is what is that… DAN Royal people ERIC "Regal" "Reg--." Any others? DAN Nope PAUSE The railroad tracks, with no security, come into frame. JAMES Well, so ends the Brandt District. ERIC Hmmm… They just stand there. Eric flips a quarter a James ERIC Go put that on the tracks James walks over to the tracks and puts down the quarter on the tracks. The bells start to ring and the lights start to flash. James clears way, quickly. Running back to Eric and Dan. ERIC'S POV Eric is looking at the tracks. JAMES (yelling over the train/to Eric) This really wasn't that bad. CAMERA-STATIONARY The train's engine comes into frame, right when the first wheel hit the quarter it shoots off like a bullet and hits a man dressed in a Santa Suit in the head. The man falls to the ground, bleeding and dead. A child screams and cries. CUT TO BLACK