Trickle Down™ The Game of Economic Stimulus
Trickle Down™, the exciting new game of economic stimulus, is made by the
same people who brought you Monopoly. As a matter of fact, a basic Monopoly
board is all the equipment you need to play Trickle Down™, all you need
to do is change a few rules.
SYNOPSIS OF TRICKLE DOWN™
is played more or less in the same way as Monopoly is played, with the gameplay adjusted to mimicBetween four and eight players may play Trickle Down™, with a slight variation in the rules for an eight-player game (we'll get to that later). The game our complicated modern economy where a free market can only exist in a carefully controlled way!
OBJECT OF THE GAME
Unlike the original Monopoly, where the goal was to drive your opponents into
the squalid hell ofbankruptcy, the goal of Trickle Down™ is to create a
delicate balance where your opponents are just making enough to support themselves
so long as they're not lazy.
PLAYING THE GAME
Out of a field of four to seven players, a leader must be chosen. This leader will act as banker, policeman, and game manager. The leader should be chosen by fate and destiny, not by anything as trivial as a dice roll or competence. The leader may be the racing car, horse, or battleship, leaving the other players (laborers) to choose between the wheelbarrow, thimble, top hat, or dog. If there are more than four laborers, tokens must be shared.
Once a leader has been chosen and tokens claimed, it is time to distribute money and property. The leader is given ten thousand dollars, distributed as follows: 18 $500 Bills, 5 $100 Bills, 4 $50 Bills, 10 $20 Bills, 5 $10 Bills, 9 $5 Bills, and 5 $1 Bills.
The laborer decides his/her starting income by rolling a pair of dice and gaining, along with 50 dollars, one-hundred dollars per one number rolled (ending up with between $250 and $1250). Cash is distributed anyway that the leader should see fit.
Before the game, some (but not all) of the board's property is distributed.
The leader is given Electric Company, Water Company, and Railroads, along with
all colored properties starting clockwise from the Violet Saint Charles Place
to the Dark Green Pennsylvania Avenue.
The leader then distributes the Royal Blue and Light Blue properties amongst
the laborers as he sees fit.
Before the game begins, if any player wishes to build houses in accordance with the traditional rules of Monopoly he or she may do so at the prices set on the property deeds.
The leader decides the order in which players take turns. On the leader's turn, he may move his token between 2-12 spaces at his leisure. When he lands on spaces owned by other players, the leader may pay rent as indicated on the title deed, or may not, depending on what he feels is for the greater good of the game.
Laborers roll two dice and move accordingly, performing the directions the spaces they land upon tell them to like good little boys and girls who just want to feed their goddamn families.
CHANCE/ COMMUNITY CHEST AND TAX SPACES
When a leader incurs a fine from drawing a card or landing on a tax space, he
must pay the fine entirely. After the fine is paid, however, the leader is allowed
to raise the rent on all his properties up to ten percent in order to subsidize
his loss. Fines and taxes must be paid immediat
ely
and in full by laborers to the leader, who keeps ninety percent of the money
for himself and then distributes the rest as he sees fit among the laborers.
Half of all the money gained by laborers from drawing cards is given to the leader, ten percent of which is then spread among the laborers in any way the leader should see fit.
FREE PARKING
Free Parking is a free, publicly-owned space meant as a rest spot, but if I
see you kids out there after dark I'm going have to run you in, the folks on
Illinois Avenue have been complaining.
PASSING "GO"
When the leader passes go, he earns $3000 in commission and salary. Ten percent
of the leader's salary is placed under the board where the bastards cannot find
it, the rest joins the leader's pile of money that no one else is allowed to
touch.
When a laborer passes "Go," they earn $200 salary, $100 of which is immediately given to the leader.
GOING TO JAIL
A laborer goes to and leaves jail the same as in normal Monopoly. If a leader
is told to go to jail, either by a card or from landing on "Go To Jail,"
he must get angry and ask aloud "Do you know who you're fucking with?"
at which point all the laborers must say "sorry" in unison. The leader
may then take another turn to make up for any inconvenience.
WHEN SOMEONE CANNOT PAY RENT/FINES
When a laborer cannot pay rent, he/she may be jailed, beaten, thrown out of
the game, or spat upon by the leader. If that laborer has any children, they
are taken away. If a leader cannot pay rent, he may take money from the bank
as necessary so long as he promises to return the money eventually, though he
doesn't necessarily have to during the course of this game.
Rules for an 8-Player Game
In an eight-player game there are two leaders, each of whom starts the game
off with ten thousand dollars. The properties normally distributed to the single
leader and divvied amongst the dual leaders in a manner approved of by both.
After either leader has gone around the board fifteen times, he may "merge"
all of his money and finances with the other leader, at which point all rents
and fines go up thirty-five percent.
Miscellaneous Rules:
-Negroes are welcome to play Trickle Down™ just like normal people, but they are not allowed to play the role of leader. The exception to this rule comes during an eight-player game, when a Negro may be allowed to play as the subordinate ruler so long as no one else bids for the position. For a Negro to be allowed to play as subordinate leader, however, he/she must be very well spoken. If a Negro laborer goes to jail, the amount of bail is raised from $50 to $5000. If a Negro leader goes to jail, he or she is stripped of their position.
-Hispanics are not allowed to play my goddamn game unless they speak my goddamn language because this is my goddamn country.
-When a woman is playing Trickle Down™, there are two minor rule variations. If the woman is a laborer, her ass must be slapped in the most vulgar way possible by the banker whenever she collects her wages, at which point the other players are encouraged to call her "cupcake" and "jiggles." If the woman is a leader, she may not be referred to by her Christian name while the game is being played, instead being called only "cunt" or "cuntess."
-For every house a laborer owns, he/she must pay twenty dollars per roll in property taxes to the leader so that he may properly run the railroads.
-The leader may, at any time or for whatever reason, make the laborers count their money in front of him, or tell him everything he wants to know about their houses, friends, and family.